How to choose your freshman year college roommate
Are you wondering how to choose a roommate for your freshman year of college?
Choosing a great college roommate your freshman year—or hoping you’ll be assigned one that you’ll get along with—can be challenging!
Deciding who to room with in college is an exciting and important decision that can significantly impact your freshman year experience.
The thought of sharing a tiny room with a complete stranger you’ve just met can be one of the scariest parts of going to college. But don’t worry, a roommate is part of the residential college experience!
Your future roommate may become your closest companion, sharing in your triumphs, challenges, and everyday moments. Finding the right match requires thoughtful consideration and open communication.
You can let fate intervene and select your roommate for you, or you can choose your own roommate. At some colleges you might not have a choice!
In this blog post, we’ll explore the key factors to consider when selecting your freshman year college roommate.
From shared interests and lifestyles to compatibility in study habits and communication styles, we’ll provide you with practical tips and insights to help you make an informed choice.
So, whether you’re feeling anxious or eager about this aspect of college life, read on to discover how to navigate the process and find the perfect roommate who will make your freshman year truly unforgettable.
How College Roommates get matched
The process of choosing college roommates or getting matched with a college roommate depends on what college or university you will attend.
Here are four ways you could choose or be matched with a roommate:
1. Let your university match you with a roommate
Most colleges and universities have a roommate matching process for first year students’ housing assignments.
Incoming students fill out a roommate questionnaire with a long list of questions about their sleeping patterns, cleanliness habits, and various personality traits. Some colleges even have students take a personality test.
Take the time to think about your answers to the housing questionnaire. Be honest about what are the most important things to you!
Then the university campus housing office or a roommate finder app pairs roommates based on an algorithm.
Leaving your comfort zone and agreeing to live with someone you’ve never met can be scary, but also extremely rewarding. Being matched with a roommate by your university is a great opportunity to engage with someone who might be very different from you!
Having a roommate with different interests, passions, and ideas, who comes from a different background and region of the country or world, will expose you to so many new experiences—and that’s a big part of what college is all about!
2. random Assignment
Some colleges and universities assign roommates randomly. And if your school has a match system, but you neglect to fill out the survey, you might be randomly paired with another student.
If your college only selects roommates through random placement, don’t panic. You and your roomie might end up being best friends.
Many, many college students form amazing bonds with their freshman roommates and live with them for all four years of college or after college. Many stay close friends for life.
You might end up just being friends, and that’s okay too. You don’t have to be each other’s next best friend to have great conversations, hang out together, and learn from each other.
You’ll also get to know your roommate’s friend groups—and who knows, they might become your friends too.
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3. Connect with your roommate on your own
Accepted students often “meet” on social media or through mutual friends months before fall term begins, maybe even before they’ve accepted their place at a college.
You’ll probably find Facebook groups or Instagram groups for first-year students at your college where people are trying to find a roommate or suite mate for the next year.
You might feel like you can get to know someone through their social media posts, but, as you already know, social media never tells the whole story!
To make a good match, spend time talking to the person you’re considering as a potential roommate. Yes, actually talking, not texting.
Talk over the phone, chat on FaceTime, or even meet in person if possible. You can learn a lot about a person by asking questions and listening to their answers.
You might want to choose to room with someone who has similar interests, or that may not matter to you.
Talk about whether or not either of you plan to join Greek life, if you play a sport and have early practices, what extracurricular activities you might like to try, if a particular political view is significant, what you want from campus life, and so on.
You shouldn’t try to find a carbon copy of yourself to room with, but knowing where you both stand before you commit to living together can be helpful.
4. Go with who you know
If the roommate search feels daunting, choosing to room with someone you already know might seem like the easiest choice.
If you have a high school friend attending the same university, you might want to room with that person, because you’re already close. You might think that rooming with one of your closest friends is the obvious choice.
But there are a few reasons this could be a bad idea.
Sometimes people change—a lot—during their freshman year of college. The person you thought you knew might turn out to be much different when they’re away from home.
If you don’t live with your friend freshman year, you can always choose to room together later on. But if you live with them freshman year, you’ll miss getting to experience a more random roommate situation and all the perks that could come with that!
Taking a risk to room with someone you don’t know will open you up to a whole new friend group. If you stay close with your friend from home, you’ll get to know their friends too, even if you’re not roommates. Why pre-emptively lose the chance to make new friends?
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What to consider when choosing a college roommate
When deciding who to live with in college, there are many important things to consider. Be honest about your habits and expectations when discussing these factors with potential roommates.
Taking the time to find a roommate who is a good match with you will help you have a great college experience.
Here are things to discuss with potential roommates before rooming together:
1. Compatibility
Consider your lifestyle preferences and everyday habits.
Are you an early bird or a night owl?
Do you want to play loud music in your room or do you see your dorm room as a place to spend quiet time and escape the pressures of the school day?
Finding a roommate whose habits align with yours can help create a harmonious living situation.
2. Shared Interests
Think about your interests and hobbies. Finding a roommate who shares similar interests can make it easier to bond and find common activities to enjoy together.
You’ll probably spend a lot of time with your freshman roommate, so it’s a good idea if you have things in common.
3. Study Habits
Think about how you like to study. Do you need a quiet space to concentrate, or do you prefer studying in groups? Do you plan to study in your residence hall or in the library?
Finding a roommate with compatible study habits can help create a conducive environment for academic success.
4. Cleanliness and Organization
Think about your cleanliness standards and organizational preferences. Are you a neat freak who values tidiness and cleanliness?
Or is your personal space always messy? Are dirty dishes in the sink just part of life or a major pet peeve for you?
Most importantly, will it drive you crazy to live with someone who’s the opposite of you?
Finding a roommate who shares similar cleanliness standards can prevent potential conflicts about household chores and your living space.
5. Communication Style
Consider how you prefer to communicate and resolve conflicts. Some people prefer open and direct communication, while others may be more passive or conflict-avoidant.
Finding a roommate who communicates in a similar style can lead to better understanding and conflict resolution.
6. Personal Boundaries
Talk about personal boundaries and respect for privacy. Discussing expectations around privacy, guest policies, and personal space is crucial to ensure a comfortable living arrangement.
7. Sleep Schedule
If you have specific sleep patterns or requirements, such as needing a quiet environment during certain hours, it’s important to find a roommate whose schedule aligns with yours to avoid potential conflicts.
Early birds and night owls don’t always get along.
8. Financial Responsibility
If you’re living in an off-campus apartment with shared bills, discussing financial responsibilities upfront can help set clear expectations regarding shared expenses, such as utilities or shared supplies.
If you’re living in college dorms, talk about who will pay for which shared items (like a fridge, mirror, shower curtain, etc.) so that expenses are evenly shared.
9. Substance Use
Consider your stance on substance use, including alcohol or drugs, and find a roommate who shares similar views and habits to ensure a comfortable living environment.
10. Commitment to Academic Success
If studying a lot and getting great grade is your top priority at college, choose a roommate who shares similar values and a commitment to studying.
Having the same goals as your roommate can help create a positive and supportive academic environment.
11. Social Preferences
Consider your social preferences and expectations regarding hosting guests or engaging in social activities within the living space.
Find a roommate who shares your preferences to avoid potential conflicts.
12. Strong opinions
If you have strong feelings about anything, now’s the time to lay it all out.
Be honest about what’s important to you. Let potential roommates know about anything that would making living together a no-go.
13. Compatibility Beyond the Room
Consider whether your prospective roommate is someone you would choose as a friend. Look for shared values, interests, and potential for a supportive and fun friendship.
Your roommate may not be your new best friend, but its a good idea if you have some things in common.
Ask your roommate all the important questions before you decide to start sharing a room together!
It will (probably) work out either way
Whether your roommate is chosen for you or whether you choose someone you think will be a great match, know that living with a roommate will require patience, understanding, and lots of discussions.
For many incoming freshman, their freshman roommate is the first person they’ve ever had to share a room with! Living in close proximity to someone else is a new experience for most college freshmen!
Strained roommate relationships are the number one issue faced by a residential advisor in a college freshmen dorm.
Here are some tips for resolving roommate conflicts:
1. Sign a roommate agreement
No matter how you find your freshman year college roommate, you want to do all you can to be sure you have a good experience living together. So before college move-in day, sign a roommate agreement.
You college may provide a roommate agreement for you to sign. Or you and your roommate can come up with your own basic rules for living together.
A roommate agreement will help you set some ground rules. You might want to include an agreement about when significant others stay overnight or how clean your room should be.
Also, a roommate agreement will help you work through any issues that arise later on. Definitely be a good roommate by communicating with your roommate when any issues arise, and be receptive to hearing their concerns about you.
2. Communicate Openly
Establish open lines of communication from the beginning.
Discuss expectations, boundaries, and potential concerns to ensure mutual understanding and avoid misunderstandings.
Talk about issues such as sharing personal belongings, quiet hours, and guest policies to minimize potential conflicts.
3. Compromise
Recognize that living with someone means compromising on certain matters. Be flexible and willing to find solutions that work for both roommates.
Practice empathy and try to understand each other’s perspectives. Keep an open mind.
Whether you and your roommate come from a similar background or different cultures, you won’t always see eye to eye. You’ll have to compromise sometimes.
4. Seek Mediation
Sometimes there are conflicts between roommates that they can’t work through together.
In that case, consider involving a resident advisor, housing staff, or mediation services provided by the college. They can help facilitate communication and find resolutions to roommate issues.
5. Use Community Spaces
Spend time outside the room in communal areas or engage in activities that allow for some distance. Try to relieve or escape the tension while maintaining a respectful coexistence.
6. Request a Room Change
If the situation remains unmanageable, contact your college’s housing office to explore the possibility of a room change. You may be able to move into a dorm room with a different roommate or get a single dorm room.
Your college’s Office of Residential Life will have specific procedures and guidelines to follow for such requests.
Final thoughts on choosing your freshman year college roommate
You’ve made it through the college admission process, and you’re almost a college student. Planning out your new living situation at college should be exciting and fun.
Choosing a roommate for your freshman year of college is a significant decision that can greatly impact your overall experience.
Your new roommate will probably be your first new friend on your college campus and the person you share the ups and downs of student life with.
By taking the time to consider factors such as shared interests, lifestyles, and communication styles, you can increase the likelihood of finding a compatible roommate who will become a supportive friend throughout your college journey.
Remember, open and honest communication is key during the selection process. Talking will help you decide what random college essentials you need in your dorm room and ultimately ensure a successful living arrangement.
Ultimately, finding the right roommate can contribute to a positive and fulfilling college experience, fostering lifelong friendships and creating cherished memories.
Most college roommates manage to live together and be friends, even if they don’t become best friends.
Embrace this opportunity, trust your instincts, and start your freshman year with a roommate who will make your college adventure even more amazing!
